Writing a blog seems like a very self-involved thing to do, especially when the blog is self-involved. I could claim that I am doing this to help others who might be going through a similar thing, and while I hope this will be the case, I am still not convinced anyone will ever stumble upon this blog. So I suppose this is a journal, left on the table of a busy cafe, wide open for anyone to look in and have a read.
I am 34 year old woman, mother of two (13 & 4) and a wife. Obviously I am many more things in addition to those but that trinity is what I think describes me the best. That is how I define myself. There is one word I would like to add to the list though but I am still not sure I qualify – a runner. My history with running has been sporadic at best, marked by brief affairs with treadmills and the local track. Somehow I always fell out of the habit in the end.
Then last year I had two operations. In March I had a laparoscopy that didn’t really require a very long recovery but did reveal endometriosis and a prolapsed uterus. In June I had my big one – bilateral bunion operation which, I thought, would keep me bedridden for weeks.
However, within 10 weeks I was tentatively attempting short runs (mainly as I felt fat, lazy and needed to feel I was doing something). Then mid-August, during our two week holiday in Cornwall, I started getting more and more into it. I ran every other day and my hilly runs went from 3km to finally 10km. I loved it! I felt I had grown wings and I had beaten myself. My feet felt great and my head even better.
It is now February the next year and I have kept the running up. It hasn’t always been easy; I have had periods of when I dreaded the run I had scheduled for the next day so much that I couldn’t sleep. And then there have been moments like when I ran 20km in an unusual London blizzard feeling like it was the easiest thing in the world. Every runner knows there are highs and lows and you just have to work through them.
I was starting to get injuries and pains and niggles here and there at the end of last year and decided to consult a running coach as well as a physiotherapist. The physiotherapist has single handedly made a huge difference to my running. I have realised that it is not enough to just pound the pavement, you have to also work on your strength and relaxing your muscles. The coach drew up a 6 week programme for me and I am now on the second week of it. Unfortunately I will have my next operation on the Thursday of the last week of the schedule so will not be quite able to finish it.
So the next, and hopefully the last, operation. I am having a hysterectomy to oust the uterus that doesn’t seem to want to stay put anyway. I have managed to convince my surgeon that I have completed my family and am fully aware that this is not reversible. The plan is to do the operation using a robot, Da Vinci, which should mean a shorter recovery time. It will still be about 6 weeks off running though which scares me. I feel like a heroin addict, knowing that I will be cut off soon. However, where she might be glad to to get the drug out of her system I am terrified that I will lose the love for running. That I will lose the grip it has on me. I don’t want to get over this addiction…