Now that I seem to have really done my foot some damage (as in I can barely walk on it) I will probably be light on the running related posts while I try to give it time to heal. Or until I manage to drug myself up to the point where I can shove it into my Nikes – just kidding!..
When I started this blog I was staring down the barrel at my impending hysterectomy. I meant to (b)log my experience the best I could in order to help other women in the same situation find first-hand experience, with the running being a fun thing on the side. I expected the operation to be a huge, defining moment in my life for better or for worse. As it happens, I have almost forgotten I had it.
They say hysterectomy is a major surgery. And I suppose it is, when you consider what actually happens to your body – you lose an organ necessary for reproduction (which some might say is the sole purpose for existence from an evolutionary point of view). But for me personally the operation was a very easy, quick and insignificant experience. Physically I didn’t really have to go through much of an ordeal at all since it was done laparoscopically and all went extremely well. I actually had to go back to my emails to check exactly when I had my hysterectomy. I knew it was March but couldn’t even remember the date (7th). It’s been 5 months and 2 weeks.
I don’t regret my decision to have it, though I silently keep testing myself on this. I have held a friend’s gorgeous, sleeping baby in my arms without wanting my own. I have discussed the benefit of the Mooncup versus pads and tampons with other women (feeling glad the topic isn’t relevant to me anymore). I have gone on a beach holiday without having to give a thought to whether I was going to have my period during it. I don’t have to worry about accidents with the husband – or fill my body with hormones to avoid one.
On the other hand it has taken a long time for the understanding of what has changed to sink in. It took me forever to get rid of my tampons and I think my Mooncup still lives under the sink (though not literally, I hope!). Every time my stomach cramps my immediate reaction is to check my bag for tampons until I remember I won’t ever have another period again. The letters calling me in for cervical screening tests go straight into the recycling bin (though you should check with your doctor whether you have your cervix left, and even if you don’t you might still need a vault smear).
So here I am. Almost six months after my hysterectomy which removed my uterus and cervix. I don’t really feel different, but I definitely don’t feel worse. If anything, I feel… free. And the big surprise has been that it wasn’t the hysterectomy that ended up defining the “new” me but the running. At the end of the day – that’s how I prefer it.