Sticks and stones and an angry commenter

sticks-and-stones

When a person starts a blog, it is usually to share their opinions, writing or stories with the wider world. You want to connect.

And when you do that, you take a risk.

My blog has always been very open, almost too open some could say. I started writing this when I was going through the slightly strange time of preparing for a hysterectomy at the age of 34. I wanted to share my experience as much as possible to provide the information I so had wanted myself. I have always tried to make it very clear that this has been my personal experience and that we are all different.

There have been some lovely comments from complete strangers to the posts about the hysterectomy and people reaching out have warmed my heart. And it has taken until today that I became the target, of what I can only assume, of someone’s fear and frustration.

I received the following comment (as yet I haven’t approved it to show on the blog) to a post I had written about my immediate post hysterectomy recovery;

You are an idiot to have risked so much by showing off. Its not a competition to see who can get physical first, after an operation. You have probably done yourself long term damage you will have to deal with 10 years down the line. More importantly, you have put pressure on all of those women who are in REAL pain following a hysterectomy, to do more than they should be doing. You are highly irresponsible. I doubt you’ve had a hysterectomy at all. Stupid woman.

This left me speechless. I must really have pissed someone off for them to take the time to pen such a hurtful comment. I re-read the post I had written all those months ago and frankly my immediate thought was that it was badly written. I was clearly still under some sort of  Tramadol cloud… But even with the very clunkiness of it, I can’t understand what could someone find so provocative about it.

I appreciate we are all different and that not everyone has, or will have, such an easy time with their recover as I did. Have I inadvertently touched a sore spot with this woman? Is she having a hard time recovering from her operation? Is she about to have her operation and feeling scared? Either way, I respect the fact that we are all individuals and so should she. No, it is not a competition and I never made it out to be. Does she feel I am challenging her? I seriously doubt I have caused myself long term damage by taking a walk after what was, in my case,  essentially only a small, laparoscopic operation. But I appreciate the concern for my wellbeing. And whilst I can’t say I suffered that much pain post-op, whatever there was, was REAL, darling.

There is a lot of scaremongering out there about the hysterectomy. Most of the stories you read put you off ever having the operation. Is it really so unusual to hear a positive story for a change?

But then none of this should really matter anyway. Why worry about the long term damage as I am clearly demented enough to be writing a blog about a hysterectomy that I never really had, right? Oh hey, maybe I am not even a woman!…

14 thoughts on “Sticks and stones and an angry commenter

  1. I love your blog. I’ve never had a hysterectomy, but I am a middle aged woman who “tries” to run. You give me inspiration- and great laughs! Thank you- please continue to post.

    1. Hi Melanie! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment, I really appreciate it. So glad you’re enjoyed the blog, I really need to get back to writing more. And I think we are all just trying to run; further, faster, more often, without injury… It’s probably one of those things where you never “graduate”. One achievement demands the next.

  2. I LOVE your blog. It’s real, honest and down to earth. Poo poo I say to that person. I have always taken your blog as a way to encourage others in this not very nice situation of having a hysterectomy so young. More people, that’s way way way more people LOVE your blog. That person should have voted with the little white cross in the red square and got out of your blog rather than leaving an unnecessary comment. Ok, vent over… keep running and please keep blogging 🙂

    1. I just want to hug you right now! Thanks for making me feel a hundred times better! I am probably being over sensitive but the way I see it, if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything – right? No troll is going to keep me from blogging though. 🙂 I just need to find the time and energy and a funny angle to having a bad leg (again!!!!). Thanks again! Xxx

      1. I’m sending you a great big virtual hug from Tasmania (we are known for our awesome hugging ability). You are awesome, I would be very sad not to have your witty wonderful posts to read and be inspired by.

  3. Omg! Ok so I read the post you’re referencing and I didn’t see anything that would anger a REASONABLE person either!! It made me feel such pain for you and it did not sound fun at all!!! People can be ugly, especially when they don’t have to say things to your face. Like I can say “I bet that woman who made the horrible comment is fat and lazy.” See it’s easy! All I can say is I’ve learned over the years that some people just suck – and I just feel sorry for them. Keep on keepin’ on!

    1. Thank you! Wasn’t it badly written though? I am sure that is enough to drive someone to spout such mean things. 🙂 You can sooo tell I was still high on something when I wrote that. I think I was being oversensitive, as you say it is easy for people to leave anonymous comments on someone’s blog. xx

  4. Your blog helped me to realize that, although there can be complications, it is possible to be up and moving again fairly soon after a ;laparoscopic hysterectomy. Had I not read your blog, I might have assumed (wrongly) that I shouldn’t try to push myself just a little to get moving…and then a little more…and so on. In fact, I think doing so helped my recovery process along…so thanks!

  5. As Morrissey would say “Heavy words are so lightly thrown”. I would love to know if this woman would be one tenth as harsh had she addressed this message to your face, even if she still believed it – to her at least – to be true. Hey ho it’s the keyboard warrior thing – really annoys me. This blog has not in any way passed any judgement on other women who’ve been through the same thing as you, everybody’s different. You’ve just given your version of events, if anything to HELP people in that you’ve giving them some idea what to expect!

    1. Aah, you do quote a good one there, Emma! It is always easy to be a lot more horrible (and honest?) in writing that in person but that’s the way of ‘t internet I guess. Thanks for your encouragement and kinds words! x

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